So week 4 weigh in had me at a weight gain of 2.2 pounds. It was ugly. AND on that same day, a customer at work asked me if I was expecting again. DEFEAT.
I just wanted to curl up and die, just eat what I wanted and not care. However, I look at my beautiful son and think to myself, "What happens when he gets older and wants to ride things at an amusement park or a fair and I can't because we both won't fit in the ride-car together?" "What if he is embarrassed of me?". My mind instantly jumps to Whats Eating Gilbert Grape? and I just can't let that happen.
I have some pitfalls that I need to figure out how to control. Like, preplanning meals so when I get home at 5:30 or 6, I'm not stuck with that dreaded question "whats for dinner"...even worse... "whats for dinner and do I have enough points to cover it?". And its hard because I am generally pretty well spent by the time I get home so it is SO easy for me to cook something that is quick which usually = not healthy or get take out (McDonalds).
Another pitfall is just agreeing to whatever it is my husband wants to eat on the weekends. We are social people and generally aren't home on the weekends so there is a lot of eating out involved. We know we need to fix this for a few reasons : 1) Money. We are trying to reign in our finances so we can figure out how to cut back on my work hours AND to save money. We'd like to be in a house in 5 years. 2) It keeps contributing to our growing waistlines. But then is the only answer to never leave the house??
This past week I was fairly good and when I weighed myself this morning, it looks like I've dropped a pound since last monday's weigh in. HOWEVER, our scale is shitty and old but since I cannot weigh in today at my meeting, its the best I can do.
AND Meetings...
I think I am going to drop my membership to an online tools only. The meetings I can get to, the women are bitchy and just generally not really nice. They continually talk over the leader and are clique-y. My annoyance level goes thru the roof when I'm there and I just don't think its productive. I will buy a good scale this week when I get paid and weigh myself every Monday, like normal.
Its small steps, right? I have two tops hanging in the bedroom and bathroom that I have to look at everyday. Tops that I cannot wear because they are too small. Tops that I will wear in 2 months! They are my thinspiration.
Wow. This was long. Thanks for hanging in there. I will update more frequently that way I won't be writing a novel each time. Thanks for your support.
